New Year Pruning

2010 brought much pruning into my life, perhaps in yours too. It is true, the plants and trees in my yard needed much pruning in order that they continue to flourish and grow in the year to come. However, I am not really speaking of my yard but my own personal life. (I will talk more about that later in my blog.) For you see, the trials and hurdles I have faced have brought about continued change in my life.  Yet, I cry out, "How can this make me flourish and grow? How can pruning away at my life be a blessing when it hurts so much?"

If you are like me, you do not always understand why things happen the way they do in our lives. It is hard to see what good can come from anything that hurts so much or causes us to wonder how we can make it through another day. However, here I am...pruned. Pruned down to nothing, at least so it feels.  So I ask will I really grow again? Is there an answer?  There is a verse that reads:

John 15:2 "Every branch in me that bears no fruit he takes away: and every branch that bear fruit, he prunes it, that it may bring forth more fruit."

This pruning has been interpreted in many ways. The illustration that Jesus is using is one of pruning; therefore, some have said just like pruning trees, this process is very painful.  In our lives, God cuts and slashes us through things like sickness, death, poverty, and other forms of tragedy so that eventually we will bear more fruit. He wants to bring about healing in our lives and so in order to do so He must take away those things that are road blocks or that hold us back. This view means it is necessary for us to suffer, if we want to bear more fruit.

Yet, even though there is an element of truth in this way of thinking, it is not totally consistent with the rest of God's Word or even the context of this verse. The text says that the pruning that Jesus speaks of is done through the Word that He has spoken unto us, or the Word He has giving to us.  He does want to bring healing into our lives and He does want us to bear more fruit. So what is the Word He speaks unto us?

2 Timothy 3:16-17 says that God's Word was given to us "for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, and for instruction in righteousness: Therefore the followers of God may be perfected and thoroughly furnished with all good works." Could it be that God's method of pruning means that by simply reading His Word, the Bible, it will cause us to prune what is not good for us in our lives?  Does it mean it is our choice to prune as we learn what God has for our lives?

Okay, let us reason this out, if we believe God brings sickness, poverty and tragedies into our lives to help prune us then how can He be a God of love? Do we want to accept that God brings bad into our lives? Or do we want to believe the evil one has it out for us and throws everything he can in our way to make our lives hard? 

Let me say, the bottom line, God does not need the devil's help to bring about our pruning, although He may allow it. His Word says He will make us "perfect, thoroughly furnished with all good works."  Yes, He will take what devil has meant for bad in our lives and work it for good.  It may even cause us to do some thinking which brings about some pruning in our own lives.  However, in my way of thinking, God does not put adversity, trials and sickness in our lives to prune us.

Yes, we can learn through tragedy and God can use it for our good. (Many of you know all that has happened in my life over the past 5 years. If not, just search my labels found on the right hand side of my blog and click on the word "chronic pain". Reading that blog will catch you up and hopefully encourage you.) Now with that said, let me use an example from my own life to illustrate this point.  

Back in 2007, I was told that without surgery I would lose the use of my arms and hands. It was obvious that this was already beginning to happen, so to elect to have surgery was a no-brainer. As a teacher and artist, I needed my arms and hands. The fact is, in everyday life, everyone needs them! 

By the time the surgery date had arrived, touching anything caused so much pain I truly wanted to die.  I worked hard to use biofeedback and my creative mind to fool myself to change the way I sensed the touch of various items. I had to do this just to open a door or pick up a pencil, let alone the many other things you would touch throughout a day. No one has a clue the pain I endured or energy it took to make it through each day. It was so wearing-simply exhausting, especially when teaching and helping my dying mom.

Yet, at that point, I had hope. There was hope that the pain, as well as the use of my arms and hands would improve; even though there was not a 100% guarantee. So I was excited to get the surgery over with and get back to life..to continue to do the job I loved, teaching my students and doing art on the side to be able to sponsor children and projects to help children. 

Little did I know that the surgery would bring about changes in my life that would crush my spirit and cause me to re-evaluate who I am as a person. The surgery did make some of the pain go away and allow me to use my arms and hands better, (at least for a time), but the other complications were less than desirable. 

When I awoke from the surgery I was delighted with the difference in how the sense of touch no longer hurt so much, but at the same time, I was having trouble breathing and swallowing.  It was not know exactly why, until later, it was discovered I had a neuromuscular disease.

My life took on a new journey, which was followed by much testing, until a couple years later when doctors came up with some answers. Earlier I had endured a long stay in the hospital, a couple of near-death experiences as well as being hooked up to machinery for suction, breathing and feeding. Later my living room became a hospital room, in which I lay unresponsive. 

Once I was alert enough to comprehend things, I learned about my near-death mishaps. Although my mind did recall an experience, I had no way of making sense of it until that time. Now the feelings, thoughts and events were beginning to make sense in my mind. Finally, I could begin apply the lessons learned.

There is so much to share - especially when it comes what I have learned, so I think I had better leave that for another blog. For now, I want to use this illustration to make my point. The evil one brought this tragedy into my life and what he meant for bad God worked for good.  Even though I could no longer teach or do art as I once did, I was alive. It was the beginning of a process of learning, a new journey so I could continue to touch the lives of others, just not in the same way.

God allowed me to prune myself, to look at things in a new light by listening to what He was speaking into my life, thus allowing me to bear more fruit. On the other hand, if I mistakenly thought that God was the one bringing tragedy into my life to make me be more fruitful, it is possible that I will not resist tragedies. Instead, I might look for them, almost beckoning them to come into my life. The Word says, "To resist the devil and he will flee from you." So I want all that the evil one throws at me to flee away from me. I want God take all of the bad things and to work them for my good.  

It is true all of us will learn by hard knocks that is if we are open to learning. The person who welcomes trials with arms wide-open will suffer greatly. They will not have the true hope of victory nor will they know the real joy God has for them. They will be far behind the person who lets God's Word have His perfect work in him. For this person runs the race, reaching for the goal, not hanging on to the past and thus has victory. 

This is not to say, that we must not work to gain "acceptance" when things do happen. In fact, we must have our arms open wide to embrace all that God has for us in the midst of tragedies or trials. We must look for His blessings in every situation. We must open our hearts and minds to what God is speaking into our lives...to prune where needed in order to spring forth-new life.  So what will you be pruning in this New Year?  Will you allow God to speak into your life?

Prisons of Life

I am NOT speaking of "prisons" where criminals go to be locked up, but of those we create in our own lives.  It is the choices we make or uncontrollable events in our lives that capture us and "lock us up" on the inside. It is the "prisons" from childhood models that taught us not to speak or to not be who we real are in God's eyes. It is the prisons that the world places on us to be "just so" to fit in.  It is the prison's of the media images of the perfect body or designer clothes.

I have thought about these prisons for quite sometime in my life.  I have worked to "reprogram my mind" against what the world and others are saying to entrap me into their prisons of life.  It has been a hard fight.  It is a struggle that is not yet over.  I struggle each time I look into the mirror, or strike out to do something, when that small, yet powerful "inner child" voice begins to speak out to tell me I am not worth it, I am not good enough, I am not pretty enough, I am not smart enough and I will always fail!

But I choose to renew my mind against the evil one and His lies, for I am God's best! His masterpiece! YOU ARE GOD'S BEST too!  We are ALL His masterpiece!  We must stand against life's prisons so we can walk in the light of our Savior's love.

Did you know that when God's looks upon us, He sees His Son, His child?  Yes, it is true, He sees us perfect and forgiven as His child because of having Jesus Christ in our lives.  What a gift!  What a victory in our lives!  If we could only continue to view ourselves in that way...through the eyes of our Savior, washing us with His love and presenting us to the Father as whole and perfect, without blemish.  WOW!  Think of that!  What a gift!  Can you hold that in your mind?  Can you fully grasp it? I am still trying too.

I have added a few attachments to my page because this subject as inspired my art and heart.  My friend and awesome talented singer, Alisa Childers has just written a new song titled: Pretty Prison.  It speaks to the image the world places upon us and much more. It talks about how woman are taught to NOT say what we really mean. How we always try to please others. I am awaiting her permission to post the blog she wrote that inspired the song.  I know it would really touch your heart and speak to many of you, especially women.  So until I can download Alisa's song, (you can hear it on her webpage for now.)  I have added to my downloads the music of JJ Heller, called "Love Me', which speaks to our desire to loved for who we really are.  I felt it was very fitting.  It is a song that will touch your heart. You can hear it on Truthvine or on her webpage.

I have also attached my artwork titled: "The Gate" to speak to the gates in our lives that lock us out and hold us prisoners.  You see, this painting was inspired as I took care of a child with autism.  She was trapped in her world, not making eye contact with life. Each day, she would make her way to the big rugged gate in the back yard.  She would reach up and touch the gate, saying, "Want out, want out!"  She yet, would never look at the gate directly.  It spoke to my heart deeply.  It is here, she is trapped in her world and she so desperately longs to find away out, to find a way to escape her bondage...A way to be free of this world's prisons, her world of autism.

This experience began me to think of all the "gates" in our lives that keep us prisoner.  I thought of the courage it takes to move forward in action as well as, the willingness to first look straight in the eyes all the gates in our own lives that stop us from being ALL that God has called us to be. One gate can lead to another gate...there may many in our lives.

I thought about the "gates" in my life and the prison it has built in my life. I have thought of how it stops me from moving forward with so many opportunities in this world.  I see how it keeps me locked up inside and places a fear blocking from what I truly can be. So I began my journey by painting "The Gate" and began thinking of ways I can have the courage to look my gate straight in the eyes, to step forward and reach out to open that gate and see what God has for me beyond the gates of my prison.

If you notice in my painting, I placed a garbage can behind the little girl.  I did this to remind us that has we have the courage to go forth and step through the gate and to give it all to God, allowing you with God's help to place the trash of our lives where it belongs to never imprison us again!

So what are the prison's in your life?  What "gates" stop you from being all God has called you to be?  Let's discuss them and encourage one another so we can go forth in boldness and touch this world with God's freedom, hope and love!

P.S.
I hope many of you will be willing to share the "gates or "prisons" in your lives.  I think it can be an awesome tool in our lives to encourage one another to let go!  Let's build one another up as God instructs us too!  We can walk with a renewed mind, prison/gate free!

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If you would like to see more of my art go to:  http://laurieh.myexpose.com

JJ Heller's music can be found at: http://www.myspace.com/jjhellermusic

Also Alisa Childers site can be found at: http://www.myspace.com/alisachildersmusic
Be blessed!

The Curve Balls of Life's Journey

Life's Journey continues and boy oh boy is it full of "curve balls"! I continue to learn how to allow God to take the bat in every circumstance of life, but it isn't that easy.  If you are like me, you have preconceived ideas of how to right a problem, find a solution or the steps it will take to make things o.k. again.  It is not often I want to just sit back and roll with the punches. No, not me! I must find the answers, search for the solutions and take some control of the situation.  If you are truly honest with yourself, I bet there a few of you out there who can relate to what I am saying.
We are the "doers", the ones who get into the game and strive to win at all costs. We do not want to just sit at the sidelines as a spectator. Most of us want to be a part of the solution, not a part of the problem.  We are the ones asked to join the team. We do not sit idle as we see the curve balls of life pass on by.  Instead, we are determined to catch the curve ball no matter how difficult it is to catch. We do not easily give up, but welcome the challenge.
We are the ones that have experienced success in finding solutions, whether others notice or not. If by chance someone does notice, it is like a bonus win that cheers you on to do it again. The bigger the challenge, the bigger the reward to find the answers, the solutions and to never give up.
Personally, I think God loves cheering us on to never give up, to face the trials of this life and to meet each challenge with open arms.  Yet, I also believe that there comes a time in life we must surrender and take a backseat. We must face the fact that we do not have all the answers and that sometimes in this life there isn't a solution.  We must admit that we are merely human. It is time to let God be the solution, to let Him be the hero and allow Him to bring victory.
During these past years, this is exactly what God is teaching me.  He has allowed me to strike out, to miss catching the curve balls of life and to finally realize in my human weakness He is made strong.  We all know life is not a game, but we often live it as one. We view the problems and trials of this life as the curve balls of life.  We allow ourselves to believe that if we only try harder and keep practicing that we can win over any life's challenge.  We don't stop to listen to God still small voice saying, "You don't have to go it alone. You do not need to have all the answers. You can rest in my strength and let me grant the victory."
I am no exception, for as each curve ball has headed my way, I have stretched out my arm with mitt in hand, determined to catch that curve ball and stop it dead in its tracks - never to affect my life again. Other times I have readied myself with a solid bat, determined to hit each ball out of the park. But to my surprise as I looked up to deal with the first curve ball, there before my very eyes was a second curve ball and then a third, a fourth and even a fifth! Soon it looked like a hailstorm of curve balls and my mitt and bat became the only shield to block each balls blow to my head.
Fear over whelmed me as I questioned how I could have the strength to continue to block each curve ball from their blow. No longer was I thinking how to catch them or hit them out of the park as they rocket down from the sky like an intense meteor shower.  I felt this was the end.  I could see no hope in sight. I had no answers, no solutions or strength to continue at such a pace.  I had to look beyond myself and ask for help.  I had to reach out to other believers and lend on them for strength, for encouragement and to borrow their hope.  I had to say to God, "Here I am, I must trust in you to met my needs, to help me survive this storm."
It was time for me to surrender my mitt and hand over my bat.  It was time for me to sit on the side lines, to rest in my saviors arms and let Him have control...trusting fully in Him for the outcome no matter what it may be...To know He does work all things for good for those whom love Him whether or not the storm continues for a time or stops to shine forth a ray of light.
My storm is not yet over, there are more dark clouds ahead as the curve balls continue to fall. Yet, I will not give up, but I also know my in my weakness He is made strong.  He will protect me, grant me hope and bring the victory.  I must know with Him there are answers and solution, but I must patiently wait, for His timing is perfect.  He knows how many curve balls I can handle.  He knows that each one serves a purpose and will bring blessing for all those who wait.
So as I sit here with all my bumps and bruises of lessons learned, I patiently wait...God is my strength, my victor and I will hide myself in the shelter of His wings.  I will not be afraid of the curve balls ahead, I will not go it alone, but trust in each moment of life God has given me...to count my blessings and to rest in Him, trusting that He has the answers.  God is on my side.  He is the captain of my team. He has victory over every storm. Aaaah, peace be still...catch some joy and let the curve balls reign for I will not fear...I am journeying on!

Here's the Bat

When life throws us a curve ball it feels impossible to hit it or to even make it to first base, let alone to make a home run. We all want to succeed in life. We want to be ready for the curve balls in life. We want to win.
God has given me plenty of new opportunities to trust Him. There have been many times to practice hitting the curve balls of life. I wish I could say that I have always succeeded, but I have missed the ball and struck out many times. I wish I could say I consistently and fully trusted God each step of the way, but I haven't - I have missed the mark. The fact is, I had to learn it is because I was relying upon myself and not pulling my full trust in God. I was pushing away all those He sent to help me. They were sent as a part of the body of Christ to bless me but, I wanted to prove I was strong and I could win on my own. I didn't allow others to help me and be the hands and feet of Christ.
But the fact is, I have been scared, uncertain, and at times, very anxious. I knew many times I could not do it on my own. I knew I needed to trust God with health, healing, finances, my well-being, my relationships and the everyday journey of life. But I had much to learn. I had to strike out many times before this stubborn brain of mine would stop and listen to reason. Interestingly enough, all along the way, God has been faithful, as He patiently waited for me to acknowledge His present and keep on asking His help. Yes, although, I took life into my own hands, He remained trustworthy and ready to step in to assist me. He journeyed beside me even when I did not acknowledge Him.
It is humbling to realize you are in need of help and to have the full realization that you are not strong enough to make it on your own. You get discouraged when answers do not come quickly. Other times you wonder if God is even listening to your plead. Yet, His truth reigns, "...for in our weakness He is made strong."  He is faithful and desires to answer our prayers. The question is, am I willing to to place my life in His hands, to give Him the bat, to take full control once I place make my need known? Can I trust fully in Him. Is He really cheering for me to win? Can I believe His word? Will He truly answer my prayer? Is He really listening?
Amazingly enough, God is a God of integrity. He does not lie. He is the Promiser who keeps His promises! It matters not how long you try it on your own, He is always there ready and waiting for you to stop and acknowledge Him and simply ask for His help. He as our heavenly Father wants to provide our needs. He wants us to feel and know His great love. He is a God of infinite strength. His ability to pass all abilities. There is none like Him. He is the Creator of the universe and rules over all, yet He allows us to choose. We can choose not to ask for His help in our lives. We can ignore His Word and the words He gave us to encourage our heart. He communicates through His Word and in His still small voice if we only stop to listen. He is faithful in all He does. He WILL answer our prayers in His time. However, why is it so hard for us to believe these truths? In our humanness we linger our suffering by choosing to ignore the fact God is right there waiting to lean a hand. It must hurt Him to see us suffer needlessly. I can hear Him say, "My child, I am here for you...just reach out and I will help you...just ask me...My child I am here, I will wait, I will remain here for as long as it takes...I love you."
So as life journeys on, I strive to hear God still small voice, to remember He is here to help me if only I call upon Him. I must ask for His help and let my needs be known. Still, I am learning to trust Him and let Him take control...for I may not be able to see what is coming at me in life, but I know I have a faithful, capable and trustworthy team leader. One who has a keen eye, a steady hand and knows all the angles. I can trust Him know matter what lies ahead. He WILL answer in due time, so I cannot give up!  As His word says, "Ask and it will be given to you!"
As I seek to continue this journey in life, there will be plenty of opportunities to trust God anew. So what about you? Can you take that chance to place your life in the hands of God? Can you trust Him to know the next move? Are you willing to ask Him for your needs and not give up?
Though I don't know fully the plans that God has for me, I am learning to step out in faith. For He does know the plan and I can TRUST HIM every plan of my life. For He has said, "For I know the plans I have for you," declare the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
So for now, I ask God to join the team, teach me the swing of the bat to trust His keen eye and know His heart is alway cheering for me. He will answer my prayers and guide my life. Can you let yourself hear His cheers? Will you give Him the bat? Come on, I know you can do it...TOGETHER, with God we will WIN the game, for in Christ we are victorious throughout eternity!  OK, I am asking...I am ready - Here is the bat God, I am ready to never give up! Let's play ball!

It's a New Year!

 It's a New Year and so many of us resolve to do something to change our habits, life's journey or follow a dream. What is your resolution? Personally, I have given this much thought and I have come to the conclusion that I can make all the resolutions I want but if I don't have enough motivation and clear goals internalize I will never make it. Bottom line, it all begins with accepting myself as a valuable human being worth achieving my goals. For me that means fully grasping the fact I am a child of God and He would have died ONLY for me if one else existed. He loves me that much. He sees me as that valuable, that lovable and that close to His heart. He created me right from the start and knows everything about me. In reality, He loves you that much too!

The fact is if you go back to the beginning of time by reading Genesis you will notice that God spoke and things came into being. There were the sun and moon, the plants and animals, etc all created by His words. How mighty His words are to perform such wonders! Yet, please notice when it came to "human life" He did not just speak us into being. No! He personally touched us and formed us with His very hands. Then He went a step further, He breathed into us the breath of life and we became a living soul. Just think of that...that time to fully grasp that thought.

So WHY? Why did He not speak us into being like all other life?  He very well could have, but our God wanted a personal relationship with us. He wanted to show His love and compassion with His mighty touch to show His great love for us.  Isn't that amazing? Just think of it...Our God truly loves us and wants to personally be in your life, as well as mine! He could not have shown this more clearly than putting His love into His actions. This was His first step in showing His great love and care for us.

Back in the 70's there was a saying, "God doesn't make junk." Well, take that to heart because He formed you in your mother's womb and added His own personally touch right from the beginning of time. He loves you and cares about you. He wants the very best for you. He wants you to have a life more than abundant. He knows the plans He has for you and they are for good not harm. So remember each time you put yourself down and doubt yourself, it is then you are telling God He made junk.  It is the "evil one" who wants you to believe that...so kick him in the butt and choose to believe God's words for your life!!!

Ok, what does all this have to do with our New Year's Resolution? Well, I realize that if we can't grasp God's love for us and see ourselves as victorious in Him then we will often fail. So I challenge you today to begin the New Year claiming your spot as a child of God and knowing He is the one who makes you strong. He made you in His image and wants the best for your life. So make Him a part of your New year's Resolutions and you will be victorious! resolutions are an inside job. So remember you are God's child, His best! You are His winner! Happy New Year! Be blessed!