2010 brought much pruning into my life, perhaps in yours too. It is true, the plants and trees in my yard needed much pruning in order that they continue to flourish and grow in the year to come. However, I am not really speaking of my yard but my own personal life. (I will talk more about that later in my blog.) For you see, the trials and hurdles I have faced have brought about continued change in my life. Yet, I cry out, "How can this make me flourish and grow? How can pruning away at my life be a blessing when it hurts so much?"
If you are like me, you do not always understand why things happen the way they do in our lives. It is hard to see what good can come from anything that hurts so much or causes us to wonder how we can make it through another day. However, here I am...pruned. Pruned down to nothing, at least so it feels. So I ask will I really grow again? Is there an answer? There is a verse that reads:
John 15:2 "Every branch in me that bears no fruit he takes away: and every branch that bear fruit, he prunes it, that it may bring forth more fruit."
This pruning has been interpreted in many ways. The illustration that Jesus is using is one of pruning; therefore, some have said just like pruning trees, this process is very painful. In our lives, God cuts and slashes us through things like sickness, death, poverty, and other forms of tragedy so that eventually we will bear more fruit. He wants to bring about healing in our lives and so in order to do so He must take away those things that are road blocks or that hold us back. This view means it is necessary for us to suffer, if we want to bear more fruit.
Yet, even though there is an element of truth in this way of thinking, it is not totally consistent with the rest of God's Word or even the context of this verse. The text says that the pruning that Jesus speaks of is done through the Word that He has spoken unto us, or the Word He has giving to us. He does want to bring healing into our lives and He does want us to bear more fruit. So what is the Word He speaks unto us?
2 Timothy 3:16-17 says that God's Word was given to us "for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, and for instruction in righteousness: Therefore the followers of God may be perfected and thoroughly furnished with all good works." Could it be that God's method of pruning means that by simply reading His Word, the Bible, it will cause us to prune what is not good for us in our lives? Does it mean it is our choice to prune as we learn what God has for our lives?
Okay, let us reason this out, if we believe God brings sickness, poverty and tragedies into our lives to help prune us then how can He be a God of love? Do we want to accept that God brings bad into our lives? Or do we want to believe the evil one has it out for us and throws everything he can in our way to make our lives hard?
Let me say, the bottom line, God does not need the devil's help to bring about our pruning, although He may allow it. His Word says He will make us "perfect, thoroughly furnished with all good works." Yes, He will take what devil has meant for bad in our lives and work it for good. It may even cause us to do some thinking which brings about some pruning in our own lives. However, in my way of thinking, God does not put adversity, trials and sickness in our lives to prune us.
Yes, we can learn through tragedy and God can use it for our good. (Many of you know all that has happened in my life over the past 5 years. If not, just search my labels found on the right hand side of my blog and click on the word "chronic pain". Reading that blog will catch you up and hopefully encourage you.) Now with that said, let me use an example from my own life to illustrate this point.
Back in 2007, I was told that without surgery I would lose the use of my arms and hands. It was obvious that this was already beginning to happen, so to elect to have surgery was a no-brainer. As a teacher and artist, I needed my arms and hands. The fact is, in everyday life, everyone needs them!
By the time the surgery date had arrived, touching anything caused so much pain I truly wanted to die. I worked hard to use biofeedback and my creative mind to fool myself to change the way I sensed the touch of various items. I had to do this just to open a door or pick up a pencil, let alone the many other things you would touch throughout a day. No one has a clue the pain I endured or energy it took to make it through each day. It was so wearing-simply exhausting, especially when teaching and helping my dying mom.
Yet, at that point, I had hope. There was hope that the pain, as well as the use of my arms and hands would improve; even though there was not a 100% guarantee. So I was excited to get the surgery over with and get back to life..to continue to do the job I loved, teaching my students and doing art on the side to be able to sponsor children and projects to help children.
Little did I know that the surgery would bring about changes in my life that would crush my spirit and cause me to re-evaluate who I am as a person. The surgery did make some of the pain go away and allow me to use my arms and hands better, (at least for a time), but the other complications were less than desirable.
When I awoke from the surgery I was delighted with the difference in how the sense of touch no longer hurt so much, but at the same time, I was having trouble breathing and swallowing. It was not know exactly why, until later, it was discovered I had a neuromuscular disease.
My life took on a new journey, which was followed by much testing, until a couple years later when doctors came up with some answers. Earlier I had endured a long stay in the hospital, a couple of near-death experiences as well as being hooked up to machinery for suction, breathing and feeding. Later my living room became a hospital room, in which I lay unresponsive.
Once I was alert enough to comprehend things, I learned about my near-death mishaps. Although my mind did recall an experience, I had no way of making sense of it until that time. Now the feelings, thoughts and events were beginning to make sense in my mind. Finally, I could begin apply the lessons learned.
There is so much to share - especially when it comes what I have learned, so I think I had better leave that for another blog. For now, I want to use this illustration to make my point. The evil one brought this tragedy into my life and what he meant for bad God worked for good. Even though I could no longer teach or do art as I once did, I was alive. It was the beginning of a process of learning, a new journey so I could continue to touch the lives of others, just not in the same way.
God allowed me to prune myself, to look at things in a new light by listening to what He was speaking into my life, thus allowing me to bear more fruit. On the other hand, if I mistakenly thought that God was the one bringing tragedy into my life to make me be more fruitful, it is possible that I will not resist tragedies. Instead, I might look for them, almost beckoning them to come into my life. The Word says, "To resist the devil and he will flee from you." So I want all that the evil one throws at me to flee away from me. I want God take all of the bad things and to work them for my good.
It is true all of us will learn by hard knocks that is if we are open to learning. The person who welcomes trials with arms wide-open will suffer greatly. They will not have the true hope of victory nor will they know the real joy God has for them. They will be far behind the person who lets God's Word have His perfect work in him. For this person runs the race, reaching for the goal, not hanging on to the past and thus has victory.
This is not to say, that we must not work to gain "acceptance" when things do happen. In fact, we must have our arms open wide to embrace all that God has for us in the midst of tragedies or trials. We must look for His blessings in every situation. We must open our hearts and minds to what God is speaking into our lives...to prune where needed in order to spring forth-new life. So what will you be pruning in this New Year? Will you allow God to speak into your life?
